Roots of Memory and Structure — On August 15th

8月15日

読了時間: 5分

記憶と構造のルーツ — 8月15日に寄せて

Section 1: The Unending War and the Accurate Map

Every year around this time, I feel a bit hesitant to bring this up...

My grandfather was a survivor of the Siberian internment. Even after hearing that the war had ended, his personal battle continued. The ship he was aboard was eventually torpedoed and sunk.

Yet, stored within his mind was a hyper-clear, detailed map of the fleet's deployment and navigational routes. He would draw it from memory to explain it to me.

My own memory of it, however, remains faint. I could feel with every fiber of my being that his account was not just a narrative, but an unvarnished "fact"—and because of that, I couldn't bring myself to look at it directly. Normally, I can visually copy almost anything I see, yet that specific hand-drawn map is the one thing that remains blurred in my mind today.

Why was he able to draft such an extraordinarily detailed map?

第1節：終わらない戦いと、刻まれた配置図

毎年で申し訳ないと思いながら…

じいちゃんは、シベリア抑留の経験者だった。終戦を聞いたはずなのに終わらない戦い、乗っていた艦の撃沈。

そして、頭の中に克明に刻まれていた艦隊の配置図や航路図。それを紙に書いて私に説明してくれた。

私の記憶には、何となくしか残っていない。見たものは大体丸ごとコピー出来たはずなのに、私には今、その図だけがぼんやりとしか記憶されていない。真実ではなく「事実」だったと肌で感じていたからこそ、直視できなかったのだと思う。

なぜ、あれほど詳細な図を描けたのか？

Section 2: Technology for Survival and Transmitted Blood

Here is my theory: My grandfather was likely an optical/camera technician in the military, responsible for recording and surveying. His role was to accurately record the reality of the battlefield and grasp it as a structural whole.

"It was simply to survive."

That is what he used to say. It wasn't truly for the Emperor, nor was it for the nation of Japan.

"There were people I needed to protect. If I didn't hold my ground right there, I couldn't protect them. That’s why I chose to live."

After the war, he crossed over to Malaysia, where he worked to support global reconstruction and development through his skills as a camera technician and infrastructure engineer. (I never asked for the specific details of his work in Malaysia; I deeply regret that now.)

It was never about grand, hollow ideologies.

It was a gritty, desperate obsession to "protect those who matter," combined with the precise technical craft to capture and construct physical reality. Driven by those two elements, he survived that freezing hell, preserved the line of life, and helped rebuild a peaceful world.

(When he recounted the vivid, raw reality of even utilizing the bodies of fallen comrades just to stay alive, that scene auto-generated itself inside my head. Those words were translated in my mind, and that mental image remains vividly imprinted as part of my own memory today.)

第2節：生きるための技術と、受け継がれた血

ここからは私の予測だ。

じいちゃんは軍で記録や測量を担う、カメラ（光学）の技術者だったのではないか？目の前の戦況や事実を正確に記録し、構造として把握する役割を担っていたのではないか。

「生きるためだったから」

じいちゃんは言っていた。本当は天皇のためでもない。日本国のためでもない。

「自分が守りたい人がいた。ここで踏ん張らないと守れない。だから生きることを選択したんだ」と。

戦後、じいちゃんはマレーシアへ渡り、カメラの技術とインフラ技師としての力で世界の復興と発展を支える仕事をした。（マレーシアでの具体的な話をもっと聞いておけば良かったと悔やまれる）

大げさな大義名分なんかじゃない。

「大切な人を守りたい」という泥臭く切実な執念と、目の前の現実を正確に捉えて創り上げる技術。その2つがあったからこそ、あの極寒の地獄を生き抜き、命を繋ぎ、平和な世界を創り直すことができたのだと思う。

（仲間の屍すら生きる為に利用した生々しい現実を聞かされた時、私の頭の中でその光景が自動生成されていた。言葉が私の頭で変換され、私の記憶としていまだに残っている）

Section 3: From Recording and Structure to Artistic Expression

My grandfather preserved life through the craft of cameras (recording) and infrastructure (structure). And today, I find myself attempting to etch my own existence into reality, using 4x5 film as my record and FRP as my material.

If he were still here, we probably could have talked about so many things over the analog film cameras I’ve recently taken up.

Since today is August 15th, I wanted to document my roots—my grandfather—and the origin of why I am so obsessed with expression, recording, and protecting.

At a recent exhibition and talk show, I happened to witness a moment where "people are moved by the genuine charisma of another person." I felt as though that experience was somehow connected to the blood running through my veins. Why am I so fixated on this now? Perhaps it’s just a personal memory... a poem.

Yet, without poetry, would people ever truly be moved? Who knows.

(Peace, anti-war... I understand. But I personally believe there are things you cannot protect unless you fight. Only today, war isn't just about holding weapons. If we fail to see that, the things we treasure will be overturned before we even notice... Just my personal reflection.)